Studio portrait in a black shirt, arms crossed, smiling I found my way back to myself. You can too.
About

True living isn't something you learn.
It's something you remember.

I'm Marvin. Digital wellbeing has been my field since 2017, and my personal question since 2012. I research problematic smartphone use at doctoral level, I'm a published author in international peer-reviewed journals, and I've spent years working with people therapeutically, in counselling and in psychological coaching, people who looked successful on the outside and felt hollow on the inside.

I was never the loudest voice in this space, and I never wanted to be famous or public. I just want to genuinely help, and live. While others gave the talks, I was in the background doing the research the talks are built on. The longer I looked, the clearer one thing became:

We all already carry inside us what is good for us. The human body is designed to work, to function well, to feel alive. We don't need to add more. We need to re-create the circumstances in which it can return to that state.

Principles I live by

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Play to win, not to not lose.

Fear of losing shrinks a life into defence. Playing to win means moving from possibility: choosing what you're building, not just avoiding what you dread.

"

Operate from your best state.

The same decision looks different when you're rested, sunlit and nourished. Before fixing the problem, fix the state you're meeting it in.

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Live as intended, and watch problems solve themselves.

Most struggles aren't puzzles to out-think. When the basics are genuinely in place, an astonishing number of them quietly dissolve.

The reprogramme

Your brain likes to be right.

It's one of the most reliable findings in psychology: the mind seeks evidence for what it already believes. Whatever you were programmed to hold true, that the sun is dangerous, that real fat harms you, that rest must be earned, that you're someone who "can't switch off", your brain will faithfully collect proof for it, every single day.

That's not a flaw. It's the mechanism. And it means the question that matters isn't "how do I try harder?" but "what was I taught to believe, and does it still serve me?"

Reprogramming is examining that inherited code, line by line, and rewriting what no longer holds. Positive psychology adds the other half: you don't only remove what's broken, you deliberately build on what is already strong in you. Both together are what this whole site is for.

The brain will find evidence for whatever you believe. So choose beliefs worth proving.

The quiet antidote

Not to be different. Not to rebel. I simply tried the defaults, felt them deplete me, and went looking for what humans actually thrive on.

The default says

Automate everything, a smart home that thinks for you.

I choose

Keeping my home deliberately manual and human-shaped. Grinding, pouring, opening the curtains myself, small acts that keep me in my own life.

The default says

Avoid the sun.

I choose

Meeting it. Morning light on skin and eyes, the way every generation before us lived, sensibly, never burnt, but never hidden either.

The default says

Fat is bad for you.

I choose

Eating the real fats my grandparents thrived on, butter, eggs, the foods with nothing to hide, instead of the processed replacements we were sold.

And here's the part that matters: it isn't only about analog. Overload is the real modern issue, processed food, processed entertainment, processed attention. The answer was never more input. The answer, and your power, is inside you.

Where to start

Set the environment right, the mind follows.

Our environment often mirrors our mind, and it works in both directions. When everything around you pulls, pings and glows, the mind scatters to match it. But arrange your surroundings for calm, real light, real food, real quiet, and the mind begins, almost on its own, to settle into the state it was designed for.

That's why this path asks so little of you. No willpower marathon. No becoming someone new. Just set your environment up properly, live as intended for humans, and let your inner peace find you, because it never actually left.

And while psychological coaching and counselling is fully booked, you do not need to wait for a place to begin. Restructure at your own pace, using the tools I use myself. That is exactly how I did it. The best time is now: restructure your life, and get yourself into your best state.

Start restructuring →Start reprogramming, once available →

Who I've walked with

From getting through it, to making it.

There is no final end point to wait for. Life happens now; your mind just needs to realise it. That comes from someone who spent years getting one thing done after the next, until it hit me that the thing I was missing was life itself. I had procrastinated myself. And I reversed it, by reconnecting with what's inside.

Over the last eight years I've worked with more than 100 people in psychological coaching and counselling sessions: CEOs, senior managers, leaders, and just as often people newly starting out, still studying, still exploring. Working with those at the top taught me there is no one-size-fits-all. Working with everyone else taught me the other half:

No matter the title on your door, we all face the same problems. The same overload, the same shallow sleep, the same quiet drift from our own aliveness. And the same way back.

Life is only as complicated as you make it. So let's make it simple again. Let's make sense of what's going on for you, and get you back to being a vital human. The time you spend on this earth is not long: let's move away from getting through it, towards enjoying it and making it.

For companies: I also run workshops on boosting performance and wellbeing within your organisation. As intended, and without "squeezing" your employees: helping them, and their managers, feel their best so that they can do their best. For direct enquiries, email hello@realisemyself.com.

If you want company on the way

You have the power to manage yourself.
I just want to help you unlock it.

Start with what's freely here, the facts, the tools, the food, the principles. For many people, that's genuinely enough: the environment changes, and the mind follows.

And if you'd like closer support, finding your way back to meaning, purpose and a life that feels worth waking up for. I offer 1:1 psychologically informed coaching. It's currently fully booked, which I take as a good sign that this work matters. Join the waitlist and I'll write to you personally when a place opens.

You'll get one confirmation email right away. After that I only write when a coaching place opens, or when there is something genuinely worth your attention. No schedule, no funnel, and you can leave with one click anytime.